EARL SWEATSHIRT: MENTAL HEALTH, GRIEF, AND FINDING SOLACE
The first words heard on Earl Sweatshirt’s third album Some Rap Songs are “Imprecise words,” spoken by James Baldwin in his 1962 speech, “The Artist’s Struggle for Integrity.” In the speech, he expresses his distaste for labels, such as “artist, integrity, peace-loving and integration” because these words are universally meaningless. The weight of these words is determined based on the experiences of the individual and how they have lived these titles. They attempt to represent something that is fundamentally real to every person, but how someone perceives these words are based on their own life. Earl uses this excerpt of Baldwin’s speech to introduce the album due to the constantly fluctuating nature of grief. Regardless of what Earl writes about depression, no words will be enough to accurately describe what he’s feeling - except only to him.
It’s important to note that Earl using a James Baldwin quote is not a coincidence. James Baldwin was a notable creative, essayist, and civil rights activist during the 1960s. Inspired by the likes of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. Baldwin spoke against racial injustice using the medium he knew so well - writing. Baldwin believed that poets (his buzzword for creatives) have a deeper understanding of humanity and human truth, and that they carry a responsibility to express them. Earl Sweatshirt takes this directive from Baldwin, and uses his unique perspective as a poet to make music that speaks to mental health, depression, and grief.
Proceeding the James Baldwin excerpt, the instrumental for “Shattered Dreams” kicks in. A haunting vocal sample (“Shattered Dreams” by the Endeavors) plays alongside a disorienting drum loop. Before the instrumental has room to breathe, Earl approaches the beat with an off-kilter flow that weaves in and out of the instrumental. His lyrics focus on the time between Some Rap Songs and his last studio album, I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside. Very quickly, Earl gets candid about his depression in the chorus.
Blast off, buckshot into my ceilin’
Why ain’t nobody tell me I was bleedin’?
Please, nobody pinch me out this dream.
This is the first mention of suicide on the album. The peace found in death is a motif throughout Earl’s music as he struggles with his mental health, searching for a way to heal. As will be shown later in the verse, Earl has always defaulted to drugs and alcohol as a way to stiffle his emotions, but it never seems to work long term. The verse picks up with his progress towards a better future, with Earl questioning those around him.
I said peace to my dirty water drinkers
Psh, nobody tryna get it clean
Why ain't nobody tell me I was sinkin'?
Ain't nobody tell me I could leave
Earl speaks on his newfound sobriety after he cut off friends who enabled his tendencies. He questions them, wondering why no one told him he could find healthier ways to cope, instead of using drugs and alcohol to numb himself from his pain. He looks back at his addiction as a period of his life where he was sinking - unfortunately hindsight is 20/20, so he spends his time looking back angry and confused. The clarity that comes from distance to an emotion you’ve felt before is blinding. “Nowhere2go” finds Earl looking for healthier ways to handle his grief, but he’s lost. Over an industrial loop with a robotic vocal chop, he notes that his depression has been present his whole life, and the thought of suicide is more comforting to him than it is scary.
Before I continue the analysis it’s important to mention that the reason music that focuses on mental health and difficult emotions resonates with so many people because of the relatability. In my life, Earl’s music has become so very important to me in that he is able to word emotions in a way I couldn’t articulate for the longest time. Depression feels like your brain is constantly being fed thoughts of self sabotage, coupled with a lethargic attitude that has time and time again taken away from my ability to create or even properly function. That is why it is so important that someone can find the words to explain these feelings that resonate with so many people beyond them. I wrote this article to argue that whether you create or intake art, you can start to find solace in feeling heard and in dedicating your resources to create something - whatever that may be. Back to Earl.
Earl’s prerogative of detailing mental health in his music reaches beyond Some Rap Songs. In a feature on alt-rap duo, Armand Hammer’s song, “Falling Out the Sky” Earl speaks on death in his life,
She dropped a load on me before they closed the door
I be with nobody who know what's goin on inside
My father body swollen behind my eyes
I ain't cried for him in time
In a brief 4 bars, earl begins his verse with the moment he found out about his father’s death. With a shaky delivery and vivid imagery, Earl brings the listener into the hospital room with him. His feeling of solitude is perpetuated by the image of his father’s corpse, front and center in his brain. He juxtaposes the image of a child seeing their father with the reality that although he sees his father, he’s gone - reminding Earl that he’s alone.
Sometimes we collide, the black sky full of supernovas
And stars that died, no lie, I'm still rootin' for us
Two foots in the soil (Right)
Rhymes forged to conjoin us to the cosmic
The next portion of this verse finds Earl explaining how he deals with this solitude. He uses the imagery of supernovas (the dramatic death of a star) to illustrate the impact of the lost stars in his life, whether that be his father, his grandmother, or friends from his past. Earl envisions his departed as supernovas in the sky, flashes of light that remind him they’re still with him (“I’m still rooting for us”). He ends the excerpt with a line that encapsulates a sort of mission statement in Earl’s music, “Rhymes forged to conjoin us to the cosmic.” Through his music, Earl believes he can see into the cosmic, the land beyond ours. This literally represents where he believes his departed have gone, however it also speaks to emotions that music can tap into in a way not easily explained. In the same way that music has provided comfort in my life and in the lives of others, Earl is able to find solace in creating.
The last song used for this analysis is an EP only available on youtube as one ten-minute song, called Solace (pictured above). this EP was released in 2015, shortly after the release of Earl’s sophomore album, I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside. The project begins with vocals (that i havent been able to find the original recording of) that have been heavily distorted into sounding like a person crying out. (first verse of solace).
Late for everything, my face to the cement
That's how I always seen it
I spent days faded and anemic
You could see it in my face, I ain't been eatin'
I'm just wastin' away
Earl begins the EP with a harrowing introduction to his current mental state. A sentiment I can relate to, Earl talks about his recent habits, and how they’re affecting his life. He spends his time alone, not doing much of anything. He’s stopped eating, and his diet consists of drugs and alcohol, putting him in a state where he feels like he’s wasting away. Depressive episodes are the scariest place your mind can wander. You feel trapped in your own body. Nothing makes you feel better except not feeling. You can’t even get out of your house, and if you do, you’re late to everything. The introduction to this verse immediately sets the tone of the project by painting a vivid picture of the way he’s living. He’s at his lowest and while he’s aware of this, he can’t help but feel like he’s spiralling. The verse continues,
Looks like the way that River Phoenix went gon' end up my fate
And when they drag me out the gutter, mail the ashes to my
mother
. . .
Try to make some sense of all this shit in my brain
One foot stuck in a tar pit of my ways
Depression at its most realized. Again, Earl brings up suicide within the verse. Except, this time, it’s different. He’s not talking about suicide like it’s a dream of an escape - he talks about it like it’s unavoidable. Using the example of the tragic story of River Phoenix1, Earl tells the listener that all he can see is his life ending similarly. He already has a plan for what he wants done with his remains. A morbid look into his state of mind - it becomes clear Earl at this point is already checked out. The excerpt ends on a harrowing reality check - this might all be self inflicted. He feels that his choices have led him to this point in his life - total self sabotage.
At this point in the project, it switches to its second section. Prior to the start of the second instrumental, the listener hears alcohol being poured into a bottle. Earl is giving in to his vices. The second instrumental kicks in with a slow, melancholic piano loop. Earls vocals come in reverbed, as if he’s in a room completely alone. He repeats this phrase, “me and my nibbling conscience.” He’s alone, drunk, and stuck in his own head. The verse is short, his delivery tired and flat, and all he can write about is that his decline is all his fault. Every time he has emotions he needs to deal with, he smokes a spliff and lies down, rotting away in his own mind. The verse ends with, “I’m seein’ my mom soon, I’m faded, I stink.” This line hit me the hardest out of anything on this project. Having to look into my mother’s eyes when I’m at my lowest, and knowing she can’t do anything to help is heartwrenching. At this point of the EP, hope feels far-fetched.
The last part of Solace is carried by a subtle, synth-dominant instrumental that provides the canvas that earl paints his final verse over.
I got my grandmama's hands, I start to cry when I see 'em
'Cause they remind me of seein' her
These the times that I needed her most 'cause I feel defeated
Grief sets in fast. Earl can’t even look at his own hands without thinking of someone he lost. Thoughts of his grandma fill his mind, he wishes he had her here to help him with what he’s feeling, but that’s not possible. The rest of the verse reiterates themes discussed in this article. He relies on his friends to help give him his confidence, because he can’t find it within himself. This is because when he’s left to figure these things out for himself, he resorts back to self-medicating and negative thoughts fill his brain until he’s unable to function. The verse ends with a triplet,
Well time waits for no man and death waits with cold hands
I'm the youngest old man that you know
If ya soul intact, let me know
Here we encounter the heart and soul of the album. The last line of the project, “If ya soul intact, let me know,” finds Earl asking the listener to provide him hope that he can make it out of this slump. Throughout Solace’s runtime Earl allows the listener to hear his innermost monologue, full of self deprecation and feelings of worthlessness, and in the aftermath he finds himself wondering if he can ever heal. All Earl wants throughout the runtime of Solace is to be understood, and all we can do as listeners is understand him.
As someone who’s dealt with crippling mental illness in my life, finding Earl Sweatshirt was kind of like finding Jesus (I think). There’s something about having your worst thoughts spoken out to you, that brings you right back into those moments, but then takes you out of them as the warmth of being understood sets in. After spending hours of listening to his songs, reading his lyrics, and doing a deep dive into his life, I realized the healing properties music can have, because I felt really understood. These thoughts and realities that Earl writes about are really difficult - I feel like I’ve listened to the worst moments of my life play out in front of me, but knowing that someone can relate to you and that they’re still here is a hopeful thought. Earl’s music can be very difficult to listen to, especially when the main themes in his music revolve around loss, grief, and mental health - however, James Baldwin stated that it is the job of the poet to express human truths in a way that only they know how. Earl Sweatshirt uses his responsibility as a poet to write about mental health in a way that only he knows how to. And for that I am grateful.
River Phoenix died of an overdose in 1993.